Let’s face it: Christmas music mostly is boring. Some of us get super excited about it in end of November; I sometimes even listen to it during the summer. But in the end there is this point in December when Wham! definitely gave me their heart once too often (and even the great cover by the XX can’t fix this). So, to kill the small leftovers of musical Christmas mood, here are the five most depressing Christmas songs which you will never listen to at the mall.
1. Low – If You Were Born Today (Song for Little Baby Jesus)
Long Message short: If Jesus was born today, he would not grow older than the age of eight
(be it because of war, extremists or one of the other nice features of the modern world that
kill child prodigies).
2. Emmy the Great & Tim Wheeler – Zombie Christmas
You killed Jesus? Doesn’t matter, he comes back on the third day. Same same but different
this time.
3. Snoop Doggy Dogg – Santa Claus goes straight to the Ghetto
Drugs ‘n’ kills ‘n’ crimes, Christmas in the streets gets probably not that much better by
smoking flue but at least mommy got some presents for ol’ Snoop.
4. The Killers – Don’t shoot me Santa
He’s making his list, he’s checking it twice. And apparently you messed it up this year! Better
pray he accepts cheap excuses.
5. Gruff Rhys – Slashed Wrists this Christmas
And just in case you really screw up end get the worst presents; there is always some kind of
emergency exit, right? And isn’t red in the end the most Christmassy colour anyway?
To say the obvious: DON’T do that, there are probably hotlines for issues like this in Sweden
as well!
BONUS:
Die Roten Rosen – Weihnachtsmann vom Dach
A weird merry Christmas from Germany!
